Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
