I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
