I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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