The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize