Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
