D3 body, D1 cock
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
