ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
