he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
