I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Randomize
