Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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