she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
