Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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