Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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