I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
