Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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