my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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