Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
