do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She even gives head with a lisp.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
