apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
people are starting to question the shark bite story
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
