Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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