What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
