Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
