Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
