You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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