Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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