No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
did you just send me my own nude
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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