We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
