i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
