dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
