HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
