wakey wakey hands off snakey
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
