I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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