If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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