so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
