it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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