Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
