Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
