Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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