I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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