Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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