her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
