I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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