So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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