do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Houston, we have a blender
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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