Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
