so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
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Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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