All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
