I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
