Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
