if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
