in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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