I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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