Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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