Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
