I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
