You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
