have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
