I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
