I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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