last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
